Growing Up Guatemalan American
First, I am going to share with you a bit of my background. I am 1/2 Guatemalan and 1/2 American. I am American from my dad and Guatemalan from my mom. My mom and my aunt are the only ones in their family that migrated to America. (Sidenote: my uncle is also Guatemalan). My mom and aunt's entire family are in Guatemala. In my whole life, I've only been to Guatemala twice.
Many people can't prepare you or help you understand the juggling of the language, culture, and color. Let share that it is hard to juggle all three. English is my first language then Spanish is my second language. My Spanish has never been the best. During my childhood, I only spoke Spanish to my mom and aunt, until writing this blog made me realize that I never spoke Spanish to my uncle. My cousins were born in the U.S as well, so we communicated in English. I try my best to speak more Spanish, but you can say that I am still nervous and embarrassed. When I was a child, my friends and family members used to say I sounded like a white girl speaking Spanish. That affected me a lot and made me feel less confident.
When I was younger, people used to ask what ethnicity I was. I would say Hispanic/Latino, and people used to question it. The reason being was because of my light skin. During school, when I use to talk a little Spanish to my friend's people were shocked. I felt like people back then thought with this mentality; if you are not brown then you're not Latino. When you get older, you realize there are more Latinos with different skin colors. I never experienced racism for the color of my skin. As a child, I witness children being racist to other children.
The culture was another hard for me. The reason is I felt like mom wanted my sister and me to be more American than learning her culture. I feel like she did this because she wanted us to be accepted. On the other hand, my dad never pressured us. He is the kind of guy that thinks, "do what makes you happy.". My entire life, I had friends whose both parents were immigrants. I formed a friendship in high school during my senior year, and now she is my best friend. I felt a bond that she also knew her Mexican culture, but she grew up American. She understood me and my upbringing.
Now that I am older, I wish I could tell my younger self it's okay to be you. As a child, I felt the pressure to pick a side. In the movie, Selena's dad quotes something very true. "We to be more Mexican than the Mexicans and more Americans than the Americans." That what he shares with his children. Many Latino Americans see this world this way. It makes me realize that this world has to change. It's okay if you don't speak perfect Spanish, but at least you are trying to embrace your parent's native language. I was always judged for not knowing how to speak the language perfectly, and it messed with my self-confidence. As an adult, I love who I am. I am a Guatemalan American! Immigrants are what makes America. This cycle needs to end that children don't feel the need to pick a side of their culture. All they need to know is where they came from, and don't ever forget that. Us children of immigrants have to remember how our parents sacrifice everything to enter the U.S for a better life. We have no right to take away anyone else's chance for the same opportunities our parents gave us.
Comments
Post a Comment